It's come to that point in my pregnancy where I just feel FAT and UNATTRACTIVE. Yes, I believe pregnancy is a beautiful thing, growing another person inside of me is truly a miracle, but I can't help but feel a little shallow and bad for myself that I'm so big right now. I totally don't feel attractive. I get jealous a lot easier nowadays of beautiful, hot women who are my husband's type. Not that he gives me any reason to be jealous, he's not checking them out, I am. I just feel unattractive, even though he tells me that I'm beautiful, I just don't believe it. I don't want to turn into the person where you just know she's a mom by the way we looks and dresses (tired and kinda frumpy). I still want to look attractive to my husband. I mean, I'm only 25 years old and I feel like my body has aready gone through the ringer! Stretch marks and saggy breasts are just a natural part of the post-pregnancy body, but the young woman in me still wants to feel like I'm 25- youthful and beautiful. It's our 3 year anniversary coming up and originally I wanted to stay the night at a fancy hotel and have a nice, romantic night. Well, it looks like we're going to dinner and watching a hockey game instead. Which don't get me wrong, I am still excited for it (never been to a hockey game and the restaurant we plan on going to is so yummy), but I just miss having the romance in our lives, especially on a day such as our anniversary. I know, I know, I think I live in a fantasy world sometimes thinking that life should be like the movies. With a 1.5 year old and another baby on the way, romance is kinda kicked to the bottom of the list naturally. I've never had high self-esteem growing up, but when I met my husband I believe it shot up because of all the compliments he would give me, but now I feel like a low self-esteemed teenager again, especially with evils such as facebook (my husband really think it's bad for me since I compare myself to other girls on there). I think facebook can be a wonderful thing- I've kept in contact with relatives that live far away and they can see everything that's going on in my life nowadays, old friends that I've reunited with, other friends that I've kept in touch with, etc. But there is a bad side to facebook as well... everyone (for the most part) just posts the good in their lives, the picture perfect depiction of what they want the public to see of them. Which, hey, I'm so guilty of too. But when I'm emotional on a night like this, it just doesn't help to see someone's instabrag post pop up.
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