SAHM vs. Working Mom RANT, Be Warned...

Okay, that title may have already been offensive for some. This post will probably offend some of those reading my blog and for that I am sorry, but I just NEED to vent! If I'm being completely honest, I am jealous of sahms. For those of you that are totally clueless (probably those without kids) a sahm is a stay-at-home-mom. I want to be one. But I can't. No, seriously. We've worked our budget. Many times. I have BEGGED and PLEADED with Jim to let me stay home with Abigail. As her mother, I just want to be with her to love and care for her ALL THE TIME. But with everything we have to pay for and save for right now, we would be under water with 1 income. And I am already one of those annoying 'extreme couponers' that other shoppers think "she doesn't need all that, why in the heck is she buying all that?" (example- tons of toothpaste or deodorant because I can get it all for FREE) or while at the store, the cashier and other customers in line think "oh great, it's one of those extreme couponers." Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that it's not feasible right now. I go back and forth all the time from wishing and hoping I was a sahm to being proud that I can be a working mom and still get everything done a sahm can. I keep hearing that 'being a sahm is the hardest job in the world.' Since I'm not a sahm, I cannot attest to this, but I think working a full-time job and them coming home and still getting everything done is harder. (Ouch! Did I just say that out loud?! Yes I did... don't hate me!!!) Raising children to make good decisions, become independent and love God in this world we live in today is a hard thing to do for anybody, not just sahms. Being a PARENT is tough, not just a sahm. The husbands of those sahms deserve a lot of credit too. As a mother I have that innate longing to be with my child to love and care for her every second of every day, but then reality hits and bills also have to be paid. Anyway, as I'm sure you know if you know me, I work nights. Luckily I only work 3 days a week, but about 13 hour shifts. (And for those working moms who work the regular 9-5, 5x a week, my heart aches for you! I can't imagine being away from my family that much....) Working full-time and still having a life outside of work is tough! I am exhausted from my work day but still have all my duties at home. Sahms talk about getting no sleep? Okay, there were a few months there where I literally got NO sleep once to twice a week. I worked Friday nights, that meant I was up all day with Abigail on Friday and I tried to nap when she napped (which was only for an hour or 2 most days), but most of the time I had other duties to attend to such as finish that load of laundry or cook so Jim will have food to eat while I am at work for the next few days. So I didn't get to sleep until Saturday when I got home from a long night of work. Usually I was in bed by 10:00A.M. and then I am up again by 3-3:30P.M. because we attended church on Saturday evenings so I could still go, then go back in for another long night of work. Monday morning I come home from work and again, literally didn't sleep  unless Abigail napped and then have to wait until night time to sleep again. So literally no sleep for me one to two days a week. (Which was too crazy, I was too sleep-deprieved, so now I have a more sane schedule and will ask for help when help in needed). And on my nights off, who is the one up with Abigail? Me because I don't have work the next day. And by work I mean work outside the home, there is still plenty of work that needed to be done in and around the home.

Part of this rant came from reading some sahm mommy bloggers. I read one in particular that keep talking about how hard her days are (in between looking at perfectly edited pictures of her kids' shenanigans for the day) and it was driving me crazy (thus prompted me to write this ranting post)! Their blogs make it look like they have endless money to go on vacations and places to take the kids, work on awesome crafts and make amazing meals. It's like they either try to portray their lives as being so perfect or being so difficult. Now I'll admit, I am a mommy blogger and I try to focus on the positive because that's what I want to remember when I look back and read this blog in the future, but at the same time, I try to be real. I feel like I am the minority in the mommy blogger world- a working mommy blogger. I still try to highlight all the fun and exciting things I want to remember with my family, but at the same time, the other half of the week I'm at work and have to deal with the realities of that.

So working moms, I commend you. I actually think WE are the ones that don't get appreciated enough. And maybe I'm just tired of hearing that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world because I can't be one...

Part of me is sorry for this post because it is unlike me to be so blatantly rude and honest about how I feel in this moment, but I am blaming it on being up for almost 24 hours again, working last night and working at a place where I am constantly getting cursed at and yelled at, having to give pain medication to frequent flyer drug seeking patients just because 'pain is whatever the patient says it is', trying to communicate with my patients who more often than not cannot speak a lick of English, while trying not to get urine, feces, blood or any of the diseases my patients have onto myself, breasts hurting from not being able to pump more than once in a 13 hour shift (if you've breastfed your child you know that is a LONG time to go without pumping). And don't even get me started on those people that say "Oh you work nights? What do you do with all your time? Aren't all your patients asleep anyway?" HAHAHAHA. Funny. If you only knew the life of a nurse at MIHS (but is surprisingly still better than working at the all male prison I used to work at)... *SIGH* but I do it for my family... work 3 looong days, but home for 4. Full-time nurse. Full-time mom. Okay... going to shower and shed all these negative feelings down the drain, then finally SLEEP! I'm sure you can tell I need it with my grumpy attitude. :( Hopefully when I awake, I will feel refreshed and will be out of this funk I am in...